


spider mom

by novoaa1



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Deal With It, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, POV Natasha Romanov, Protective Natasha Romanov, and supporting mj cause shes a good mom, but like its inevitable, but she doesn't wanna admit it, helping peter with school and stuff, its a thing now, like huuuuuuge mom, natasha being really really soft, natasha is such a mom, natashas a spider milf, steve knows even if natasha doesnt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 09:10:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18989629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novoaa1/pseuds/novoaa1
Summary: The first time Steve calls her 'Spider Mom,' she very nearly puts him in the hospital.It's not until much later that she realizes that yeah, maybe Steve kind of did have a point.





	spider mom

**Author's Note:**

> random cutesy idea that popped into my head.. hope you like!

It all starts when Steve calls her ‘Spider Mom’ as she’s returning from Michelle Jones’ (a “friend" of Peter’s—Natasha surmises they’ll be together by Christmas, and she’s never wrong) first big gallery showing downtown, since MJ didn’t have any parents to support her and Peter was off in Ibiza presumably saving the day under Tony and FRIDAY's close supervision (because no matter how frequently he insisted that he didn’t need to be ‘babysat’ during missions, he really, _really_ did).

 

(Natasha was already placing mental bets in her head on the net worth total of property damage that would be done to the lovely island of Ibiza by the week’s end—needless to say, it was a rather high number with a substantial amount of zeroes.)

 

Steve had asked her how it went, and she’d said it went fine, that MJ had done beautifully (which she had) with some very impressive pieces (which they were) displayed proudly on the walls—and then he’d grinned knowingly at her, dubbing her ’Spider Mom’ (which, to be clear, she’s _not_ —at _all_ ) amidst a very sweet and old-fashioned remark about the importance of providing much-needed support for the young minds of “this great nation." 

 

At the time she’d shown admirable restraint (more than he deserved, that’s for sure), and made it a point to _not_ put him in the hospital even while he grinned stupidly at her as if he’d just made the funniest goddamned joke in the history of the world. 

 

He hadn’t (obviously), but she was willing to give the residential grandpa a pass if only just this time, and she’d told him so—unfortunately he’d been undeterred by her half-hearted quip on his age, and had then proceeded to go find Sam and tell _him_ about 'Spider Mom' Natasha, too. 

 

(Regrettably, Tony’s motor-mouthed ways seemed to be rubbing off on their all-American bulked-up Boy Scout—it was only a matter of time, Natasha supposed.)

 

By the end of the week, Steve had proudly told everyone his quote-unquote “joke” (because, how exactly was it a joke in the first place?), and Natasha had had to painstakingly restrain herself from impaling a recently returned Tony with the various throwing knives on her person when the billionaire pain-in-the- _ass_ walked smugly past her in the common area casually calling, “Heeeeeey, Spider MILF!” over his shoulder with a wink and a low whistle before promptly disappearing around the corner. 

 

(Smart—he knew she was mere seconds away from personally ensuring he lost his already questionable fertility in an entirely irreparable fashion.)

 

And of course she was given little reprieve (or really none at all), because the next ‘incident' happened only a couple days later, when Wanda had wanted to visit Central Park, and Natasha had said of course they could do that, but first she had to put on a jacket because it was 67º (F) outside and she didn’t want the girl to get a cold—Sam had happened by smirking widely into his coffee cup and mumbling something about the "wonderful gifts of motherhood," only shutting up and quickening his pace when Natasha shot him a murderous glare. 

 

(And maybe it was a tad less threatening than it normally was, since she was in the middle of helping a slightly disgruntled Wanda into one of Natasha’s crimson fur-lined coats as she glowered, but whatever—it had the desired effect.) 

 

Then it was Clint’s distinctive snicker echoing loudly from within the ceiling vents (completely undeterred by the icy stare she sent up towards his stupidly grinning face, slightly obstructed from behind the grill; he’d known her for far too long, sadly) as she sat across from Peter at the dining table with a pair of rarely-worn "hipster-style” (according to Tony) glasses on the bridge of her nose, various mind-numbingly dull S.H.I.E.L.D. forms sprawled before her while the boy typed slowly on his laptop with a noticeable crease between his brows, sipping at her coffee and answering Peter’s occasional question about the Bolshevik Revolution, and how best to go about telling MJ he was interested in her (that adorable little multi-tasker). 

 

(He got an A on his World History paper that term—for the first time ever, according to Peter. 

 

Natasha had taken him out for ice cream afterwards as celebration.)

 

But still, she remained insistent that she was _not_ , nor had she _ever_ been, a motherly figure to anyone. Ever. 

 

So what if she packed lunches for the Spider Kid sometimes, or called to check in with the excitable young princess in Wakanda to ensure she was sleeping and eating enough between vocational breakthroughs, or sometimes sent Sam on missions to the authentic Russian superstore down in Providence to buy Wanda her favorite Slavic treats? 

 

So what if she was now documented as MJ’s emergency contact on both her school forms and social security returns, and always came to the awards ceremonies at MJ and Peter’s school even though both MJ and Peter insisted they were “stupid” (Peter) and “pointless” (also Peter) and “fundamentally reminiscent of a deeply problematic exclusionary mindset in America” (MJ’s words, obviously), and neither of them never won anything anyways?

 

(And besides, she knew it was only a matter of time before MJ would be winning an award for her phenomenal artwork, even if the Dean of Students was a geriatric and painfully homophobic white man with a more-than-slightly racist life philosophy. 

 

No, Natasha knew MJ’s work was too good for the girl not to win an award at some point, regardless of any previously-held biases—the question was not if, but rather _when_ , and she intended to be there _when_ it happened.)

 

So, what? 

 

That didn’t equate to parenting; that just equated to… caring, and even _that_ was something Natasha had a hard enough time accepting. 

 

(She was compromised for all of them, no doubt—the Avengers, and every miniature stowaway they’d collected from the wayside on each world-saving endeavor. 

 

It went against everything she’d been born to be, everything she’d been trained from _birth_ to be, but she’d grown far too sentimental to bother fixing it—and at that point, she'd found herself growing increasingly less sure that there even _was_ a factor of the love she felt for them that needed fixing. 

 

God, she’d grown soft.

 

She blames Steve. And Clint. And all the rest of those idiots.) 

 

It wasn’t until she was standing before the microwave at 1:44am and impatiently tapping her bare foot against the hardwood flooring as she waited for the milk (2%, of course) to grow sufficiently warm (Shuri’s favorite while working on groundbreaking technology in the dead of night—the charismatic girl was visiting from Wakanda for the next couple of weeks) that she stopped to think that _Huh_. Maybe Steve _did_ kind of had a point. 

 

(Not that she’d ever willingly admit such a thing to him or anyone else, of course—as far as she was concerned, she’d take it to her grave along with all the numerous bloodied secrets she’s amassed over the years.)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm thinking about maybe extending this to one more chapter at some point cause i had a couple more ideas for 'natasha-being-a-mom' scenes buuut idk we'll see..
> 
> would love to know what you think!!! (my [tumblr](https://psyches.co.vu/))


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